Today

It's funny how an a-ha moment can repeat itself again and again, and still feel like an a-ha moment. I recently had an aha moment that I think I've had before. 

We recently moved into a new home. Initially, after we moved into this home, I had the ambition (and still kind of do), to just put life on hold and unpack for two straight weeks. To really get it done and be rid of boxes. Well, two weeks have passed, and we're not quite there yet. And that's okay. My aha moment occurred though, as I was reminded to not wait to be the mother I want to be. If I don't feel like I have time to read stories, or connect, or hold, or play tag, or engage with my kids -- I do. It may mean A, B, or C takes longer to complete. Our stuff will still be the same stuff when we unpack those boxes. Our kids - they're childhood is not on pause. 

I don't feel like my words can adequately put this aha moment into print, but today I felt like I tasted the fruit of trying to apply this principle. 

-This morning, after the boys woke up, I sat down and read with them. Before getting dressed, or making breakfast, we just cuddled together on the couch and read. Reading can be magic. 

-My sister invited us to a park. A part of me wanted to stay home all day and hunker down and unpack. But we went. And it was great.

-During the afternoon, I focused on my (small) unpacking goal for the day and got most of it done while the kids played, read, rested and complained of boredom :) 

-Pizza. Lily has been wanting pizza lately. I used to make pizza frequently, but we hit a dry pizza spell for the past while. Yesterday when she asked about pizza, I said maybe tomorrow. Then today came, and I thought, oh, it's too much work. But then, I felt like it would be good to take pizza making time and engage with Lily, one-on-one... which we both needed. So a little after 4pm, we started making the dough and by 7, we were done eating. Ha! It took a chunk out of the day, and there's still an over-flowing sink full of dishes, but Lily and I connected and had fun, and it was totally worth the time. 

There's a balance I'm still learning. I say no to my kids a lot, and on days like today, where I try to say "sure" more than "no"... I realize it's not the yes vs. no as much as the beholding of them, cherishing them and small, spontaneous moments of connection and that constant feeling of love for them.

If I were to re-do today, I would probably not ask my kids if they had any ideas for breakfast (too many answers that were not unanimous, and I was too agreeable, which led to a grumpy Saturday-morning mom). I also might have taken off both my rubber gloves while pausing the dishes to read a story to William - it was hard to hold Where the Wild Things Are with one hand, and brought a feeling of one hand in the sink and one hand reading with the kids. 

Today is the day the which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118: 24). 

I'm going to try to remember that. Today is the day.